Hello nostalgia, my old friend

Life offers an abundance of possibilities and choices. For those of us that have the travel bug or the unbeatable urge to live abroad and have been lucky enough to achieve it, there is a feeling that compares to no other. The feeling of being torn between two places: your home, your comfort zone, and the place where you  have always dreamt of living, the place where your heart longs to be. Between the first case,where you want to live somewhere else and experience the different possibilities, and the second, where you are actually at this dreamy place but you’re missing home, your people, the ease of familiarity, lies a big imbalance.

My experience in living abroad has made me face, for several times, the urge to go back home when the things were not going as planned. You start to think of your house, your bed, your parents, your friends back home and this can lead you to even more minuscule things like the taste of your mum’s cake, the smell of your pillow or even the times when you were at school, not having a single care in the world apart from complaining about the pile of your homework. Fun times! For a moment there (or more than one actually), you are devoured by a delirium of nostalgia mixed with sadness.

cbc8a0cbaeb6b7b2b0beff1dfb9e6e7aAnd after a while it hits you. All those moments staring at your bedroom ceiling, feeling like an inmate and a misfit in your own hometown. Making dreams of ‘escaping’ to big cities around the world, living and studying abroad, meeting new people, going to the next level. Places where the cold of the winter wouldn’t bring you down because ‘it is worth the sacrifice, you are where you want to be!’.Wait a second. This is where you are now.Back to reality. You are living your dreams. You are living the dreams of so many others. And you are sad? Unfair.

Being an adult is probably one of the toughest things that I have ever experienced.You make your own decisions, take your own risks and you reap the consequences, good or bad. Deciding to leave your comfort zone, embarking on a new adventure is not an easy thing. But when it is the route to the fulfilment of your dreams, it is always the right thing. Nobody guarantees that it is going to be easy. Nothing is easy.

You will always feel torn apart, broken into two pieces, missing moments from the lives of the people you love, but this is your life and you have to decide: do you want to regret the things that you didn’t do and were afraid to pursue or do you want to regret the things that you did? (with a little luck you won’t regret them at all) Because one of the two is more bearable than the other. Or at least, that’s what I think.

So, embrace the chance you’ve got and feel grateful for it.Some times are hard but you’ve come so far.

Amanda x

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